Imagine you've loved someone in the past and both of you didn't end up together. Time passed by and suddenly in one afternoon, your path meet on the same road. Awkward, weird, mixed emotions are present. It's like you loved him yesterday and now he's back. I experienced that not long ago. After ten months of healing process, i was shocked to see him once again. I didn't know how to react on the situation. My heart was pounding really fast and skipping beats. I tried to maintain my calmness but i find it hard to breathe normally. I told myself to mindfully breathe and relax. I was stuck in a situation where in i was like in the emergency room struggling. It was really hard, even though i made a vow and burned it. You can't still forget someone that once made you happy. Bitter? I was not really. Even if he had his girl, i kept distance. That's what i did, i step back, pretend not to notice him and treat it in a way as if he didn't even exist. Though in the back of my mind, i wanted to go near him and talk to him. My mind prevails this time. I won't my stupidity and craziness overshadow my sane thinking. I think i did the right thing. I don't want to engage myself anymore for more pains and hurts and tears. By avoidance, i could keep my heart from infection. Although there is a risk, i use proper coping skills not to be destructed again. I don't want to fall for him again. I don't want to waste my time for the wrong person. How do i know that he's not the one? Maybe because, we didn't end up together and there is so much pain that me myself could not endure anymore. Whatever.
BREATHE! i kept on doing this to relieve the tension inside to make me feel comfortable.
I was not ready to face him directly. If i would be given a chance again. I would probably face him and greeted him but i'm tired to make efforts just to have special moments. I stood stronger now. One thing that I realized is that--LIFE IS FULL OF UNEXPECTED MOMENTS and in reality, I'M NOT HER PRINCESS in this MIND-MADE FAIRYTALE. It's better to far. the distal the better so i cannot injury the proximal ones to my heart. i have taken enough EMLA to say all of these.